The First Chemo

This was a pretty scary day for me, because I did not know what to expect.  I did not know if I would feel crazy, if my insides would be on fire, or if I would just go insane.  None of that happened.  I didn't feel anything.  I remember when they started the chemo for the first time, I looked at Gina, probably with a look of desperation, because I was afraid that the chemo was going to kill me.  

(I don't think my family knew I had that much fear.  I really tried to hide it.  I'm a tough girl.)  

I am in charge of the Women's Ministry at my church.  The day of my first chemo was the first day of the Ladies Retreat at Petit Jean.  I packed my bags the night before, just like I had good sense.  I told everyone that I was coming just as soon as chemo was over with.  My friends Bev and Becky were waiting for me.  They went to the pharmacy and got the medicine that I would need for the weekend.  When the chemo was over, Gina took me to Bev's house.  We all thought I could do this.  I was still under the influence of the drugs from the chemo.  I do not remember driving through somewhere and eating on the way.  I do not remember the drive to Petit Jean.  I remember that I was overwhelmed with love from the Ladies when we got there.   I felt pretty good that night.  No nausea.  I kept waiting "for the other shoe to drop" so to speak.  I didn't eat much, and I took all of the medicine that I was supposed to take.  I really did very good.  My family was worried and made me promise to call.  Phone service was poor, so I would go out and stand on a ledge on one foot with my phone up in the air and then I would have a signal.  I called home and put them at ease.  The first chemo and the Ladies Retreat went quite well.